Chris Waugh: I can think of people who's Chinese, at its best, was functional enough to get a feed at McDonald's, who've been told they speak fluent Beijinghua when they're drunk: Probably because all drunks sound like Beijingers, regardless of what language they're speaking. --Human calligraphy: if I was clever, I'd think of a pun to go along with this one. If I remember correctly, Stephen Chow does something similar in The Flirting Scholar. --Preparing a Chinese wedding feast pictorial.